Spring is here and after a long winter of messy and overstuffed closets I got on a clean & straighten kick. I started out with tons of energy. Anything that I haven’t used in the last two years was going to be donated. Time to make room for spring.
Trouble is Jack has made himself at home. There are pieces of him in all my closets now! Just a few things, mind you but a few things in each closet. And who knew how much stuff guys had. Remember the days when a knapsack carried all their worldly possessions? What happened to those days? I was really off base when I thought one drawer and one double closet would suffice!
My apartment has six wonderfully large closets. Any woman’s dream. And perhaps a few men’s, too.
I found laundry detergent in the hall closet. I would have put it under the sink with the bleach but the Costco size containter only fits in the hall closet! The front closets have books, trays, boots and boy junk on the floor. My friend is a packrat... AACK!!!
Oh, and the bedroom closet that I thought only contained clothes and didn’t see the need to open. Well, at least Jack warned me before opening the door. You guessed it - two rifles. In his defense they were boxed up and ready to ship out to the ebay purchaser. My head still aches!
It’s a good thing we’re friends and I love him!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Cleaning
Love Jack but I had no choice. I had to fire him as a housekeeper. It's not that he can't clean and it's certainly not that he doesn't have the enthusiasm.
He's being so good and solicitious about helping and I'm touched but he's just not as good as Lucy, my cleaning lady. I don't know. Maybe it's a Mars Venus thing. First, Jack didn't like any of my "cleaning products" as he called them. Had to buy his own. What's not to like about Fantastic, Windex and Pledge! Who am I to judge as long as he was willing to clean.
So I'm all excited to walk through the front door and see and smell a freshly cleaned apartment. Huh, no lemony smell. And though the wood floors in the wide open areas were clean, under the table there were the kinds of dust bowls you usually see on old western movies!
You see, Jack vacuumed the wood floors! The fact that I have boxes of swifter in the cabinet went right over his head. Maybe he missed the commercials. It's ok. Now he knows what all of us women know. That vacuuming a wood floor only scratches a wood floor! You vacuum rugs. You swifter wood floors.
And as I walked through the apartment I noticed he somehow missed a few important areas. The bathroom sink for instance. Remember that ManDust I mentioned. Well, it's still there. In addition to cleaning the sink the drain has to be cleaned, too.
The best part came when I was brushing my teeth and noticed the vintage mens razor container that's displayed on the lid in back of the commode. Oh sorry, it broke when I was cleaning....
I picked up a picture frame with cracked glass. Oh sorry, it fell when I was cleaning.........
Beach glass that was in a glass dish on the window sill wasn't there. Oh no, when I was cleaning..............
I thnk you see where I'm going here. My friend is a one man wrecking ball. So now Lucy is in, Jack is out!
He's being so good and solicitious about helping and I'm touched but he's just not as good as Lucy, my cleaning lady. I don't know. Maybe it's a Mars Venus thing. First, Jack didn't like any of my "cleaning products" as he called them. Had to buy his own. What's not to like about Fantastic, Windex and Pledge! Who am I to judge as long as he was willing to clean.
So I'm all excited to walk through the front door and see and smell a freshly cleaned apartment. Huh, no lemony smell. And though the wood floors in the wide open areas were clean, under the table there were the kinds of dust bowls you usually see on old western movies!
You see, Jack vacuumed the wood floors! The fact that I have boxes of swifter in the cabinet went right over his head. Maybe he missed the commercials. It's ok. Now he knows what all of us women know. That vacuuming a wood floor only scratches a wood floor! You vacuum rugs. You swifter wood floors.
And as I walked through the apartment I noticed he somehow missed a few important areas. The bathroom sink for instance. Remember that ManDust I mentioned. Well, it's still there. In addition to cleaning the sink the drain has to be cleaned, too.
The best part came when I was brushing my teeth and noticed the vintage mens razor container that's displayed on the lid in back of the commode. Oh sorry, it broke when I was cleaning....
I picked up a picture frame with cracked glass. Oh sorry, it fell when I was cleaning.........
Beach glass that was in a glass dish on the window sill wasn't there. Oh no, when I was cleaning..............
I thnk you see where I'm going here. My friend is a one man wrecking ball. So now Lucy is in, Jack is out!
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Making a bed
Do men ever wonder why sheets are sold as a set? Do they wonder the reason why they open a package and there's a fitted sheet, a flat sheet and pillow cases? A tip to men - that's how you make a bed! First you put the fitted sheet down, then the flat sheet and a blanket if it's winter, then the comforter. And pillow cases on the pillows.
It's not a fitted sheet and comforter! I got home Friday night and just wanted to drop into bed. It was a tough week at work. But something happened on the way to dreamland. I peeled back the comforter and realized there was sort of nothing there. Good Grief!
Is it because men would prefer not to make the bed? I remember years ago laughing because it seemed every boyfriend slept with a bed on the floor. Bed frames never seemed important. I just saw Shawn White on tv. Olympic gold medals, endorsements and a beautiful house in Southern California. No shortage of money. Bed on the floor. Wonder if he makes a bed with a fitted sheet and comforter?
It's not a fitted sheet and comforter! I got home Friday night and just wanted to drop into bed. It was a tough week at work. But something happened on the way to dreamland. I peeled back the comforter and realized there was sort of nothing there. Good Grief!
Is it because men would prefer not to make the bed? I remember years ago laughing because it seemed every boyfriend slept with a bed on the floor. Bed frames never seemed important. I just saw Shawn White on tv. Olympic gold medals, endorsements and a beautiful house in Southern California. No shortage of money. Bed on the floor. Wonder if he makes a bed with a fitted sheet and comforter?
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Losin' the love
I'm losin' the love! It seems every time I turn around I discover one more itty bitty thing wrong with my apartment. It's almost like trying to find Waldo. I know something is missing but I can't quite put my finger on it.
I love going to flea markets. I get excited with the odd treasure and finding a whole new use for it. I have an antique window hanging from the ceiling as a valance. I have an old wood bench as a coffee table. In the bathroom I have old band aid boxes, razors, cream bottles all displayed on a pretty glass shelf. I love decorating, I love my things. This morning I was brushing my teeth and noticed the red razor holder was missing.
My lovable friend Jack chastised himself for being clumsy. Said he knocked it over while cleaning. Ok, it didn't cost much and I know he didn't do it deliberately. I sighed and rinsed my mouth.
Then I noticed a cracked in a picture frame glass. "oh yeah, sorry. I knocked that over, too, while cleaning". I took it off the shelf and added a new piece of glass to my errand list.
A few minutes later I reached into the closet for the big magnifying make up mirror I bought at Sharper Image a few years ago and noticed it was lined with cracks. Idon't remember dropping it..... Jack!
"Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. My shaving kit was on the top shelf and it fell the other day...... "
He's a one man wrecking ball. While he's telling me he is outside on the terrace applying brown liquid shoe dye to his tan suede shoes. Not ten minutes goes by when I'm startled by his cursing. Seems the dye spilled. No problem. It spilled on the cement terrace floor. Oh wait, it managed to spill on the teak table, too!
I'm wondering if I have to childproof my place now.
I love going to flea markets. I get excited with the odd treasure and finding a whole new use for it. I have an antique window hanging from the ceiling as a valance. I have an old wood bench as a coffee table. In the bathroom I have old band aid boxes, razors, cream bottles all displayed on a pretty glass shelf. I love decorating, I love my things. This morning I was brushing my teeth and noticed the red razor holder was missing.
My lovable friend Jack chastised himself for being clumsy. Said he knocked it over while cleaning. Ok, it didn't cost much and I know he didn't do it deliberately. I sighed and rinsed my mouth.
Then I noticed a cracked in a picture frame glass. "oh yeah, sorry. I knocked that over, too, while cleaning". I took it off the shelf and added a new piece of glass to my errand list.
A few minutes later I reached into the closet for the big magnifying make up mirror I bought at Sharper Image a few years ago and noticed it was lined with cracks. Idon't remember dropping it..... Jack!
"Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. My shaving kit was on the top shelf and it fell the other day...... "
He's a one man wrecking ball. While he's telling me he is outside on the terrace applying brown liquid shoe dye to his tan suede shoes. Not ten minutes goes by when I'm startled by his cursing. Seems the dye spilled. No problem. It spilled on the cement terrace floor. Oh wait, it managed to spill on the teak table, too!
I'm wondering if I have to childproof my place now.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Man Dust
Man dust. It’s all over my bathroom. All over the sink. All over the floor. And it’s making me crazy! Let me fill you in.
A couple of months ago one of my good friend, Jack broke up with his girlfriend and had to move out of her place. He had no place to go and no money since he’s back in school. I invited him to live in my Long Beach apartment. I have another place in the city. It's a small studio but I work there and hate commuting. I figured the Long Beach apartment is empty so it was a perfect solution. Everyone told me I was such a good friend to do this. I shrugged it off. It seemed to be an easy favor. I'm only on the Island on the weekends. Why not, I thought. Now I know what they meant!
It all happened the weekend before Christmas. Jack borrowed my car to get “his stuff”. When he pulled into the garage my eyes bugged out and I shook my head. I thought he was a college kid coming back for the summer. There was not an inch of space to spare. I’m surprised he didn’t get a ticket! So I gave him ½ a closet in the bedroom, a dresser drawer, the front closet and free reign to the storage locker. Then he said there was more. Oh no. We’ll get to that later though.
I normally like to wake up on a Saturday and watch a little HGTV, FoodNetwork and putz around for a bit. I've lived alone for a long time. My roommate days are long gone. I date and have had long term relationships but never lived with a man. Not this Saturday. Oh no, we have to eat. And we have to eat now. So we went up to the diner for breakfast. It was fun. Walked around a bit and went home. But then before you know it he wants to eat again! We just did. I’m done for the day. He is so perplexed. He said, Elaine that was 11:30 this morning. It’s 6:30 now. I caved. We ate again. I couldn't wait to go back to the city Sunday and being by myself again!
Wednesday I went back to Long Island for Christmas. I brought Jack to my folks for Christmas Eve dinner. We are 17 so what’s one more. Christmas Day we were going to be about 30. It’s a fun party day. Couldn’t imagine why he wanted to stay home but he did.
I went back to work Monday and Tuesday and looked forward to another long weekend for New Year’s. Every year at Christmas I make a nice lunch for my girlfriends. This year we were doing it the Wednesday before New Year’s since I had the day off. As it happened Jack called me Tuesday. He was using my car to drive to his brother’s for dinner and offered to buy groceries for my lunch. It was such a thoughtful gesture.
I got home early Wednesday morning. No Jack, no car, no groceries. I was starting to get a cold and was a wee bit cranky. This really didn’t help. It was freezing outside and now I had to walk to the market. Of course, I could have stopped by the market on my way home had I known! I texted Jack asking what was up. He called me and explained that he decided to stop by a friend’s house after leaving his brother and decided to sleep over since they had a few drinks. But now the car wouldn’t start. My car. That always starts. That never breaks.
I’m trying to stay calm. He said it was completely dead. Probably because it was so cold. Jack said he was waiting for AAA. And oh yeah, sorry about no groceries. I was annoyed, congested and not feeling too friendly. I told him he had to stay with his friend the rest of the day. He wasn’t allowed home until 6pm. I wanted the apartment to myself when my friends came over for lunch.
After lunch I cleaned up and collapsed on the couch. I could feel the flu coming on. Jack came home and said AAA came. There was nothing wrong with the car. The car alarm was on. Jack, you know when I gave you the keys to the car and told you that when you press the left side it beeps twice to lock the car, right side beep one to unlock the car. What did you think that was!
Exasperating. I love him but ……
I wonder if that’s why I decided to stay in the city the next weekend.
Two weeks later I’m loving my friend Jack again. He calls and texts every couple of days and checks in. As it happens we decide to meet with a couple of other friends at a favorite Midtown bar Friday night. I’m going to go home to Long Beach and he’s going to stay in the city since he has an early morning appointment there. I asked Jack to drive my car to the train station so that I could drive myself home later that night. I wouldn’t need to take a cab or have to walk. Sounds good, right?
We’re all at the bar having a few drinks and enjoying ourselves when he casually mentions that he forgot to take his gun out of the trunk. WHAT did you say?!! I felt the color drain from my face. I nearly drop my drink and shake my head. Another friend shrugs and told me not to worry. The gun was probably not even loaded. And these guys can’t stop laughing. They can’t understand why I’m upset. The guffawing is really irritating now.
I left a little while later. Just a tad annoyed and really tired. Jack couldn’t remember where he left my car at the train station. Could anything else go wrong! It’s after midnight and he’s on the phone giving me directions on where he thinks he left it. I find it only because it’s the only one in the parking lot. By the way, it’s parked in front of City Hall. The really big building that you can’t miss!
The next day I look in the trunk and the gun is actually a hunting rifle and it’s in a locked case. I’m shaking my head. Why didn’t he just tell me this last night?
Jack is a great guy and doesn’t want me to call the cleaning lady. He prefers to clean himself. Though he tells me he doesn’t like my “cleaning products”. He buys his own. What's not to to like about Fantastic, Windex and Pledge?
I come home the next Friday night and it’s actually clean. Of course, nothing is put back where it’s supposed to. I keep chastising myself that I’m not being nice. I can move it. But now I notice a few things missing. Oh, yeah, sorry Elaine. I broke the glass on the picture frame. And oh yeah, I opened a window and the wind knocked down the small vase. It broke so I threw it away. I’m not feeling nice again.
Then he tells me how easy it was to vacuum the wood floors. I try really really hard to stay calm and explain that that’s why we have Swifter.
And I’m sorry. This is where men and women differ. The bathroom. When you clean the sink you have to remember to clean the chrome drain, too. And what is it about men when they shave, especially if they use an electric razor. Why are there whisker hairs ALL OVER THE BATHROOM? There is Man Dust all over the bathroom!
I’m starting to not like my friend again. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I can’t live like this. I have to have my cleaning lady. I need a clean bathroom.
I can’t wait to get back to the city!
Today I came home and because it was cold and snowing Jack picked me up from the train station. What a nice roommate. This is really nice. We stopped off at the supermarket. When we got back in the car and start pulling out of the parking spot we’re stuck in the snow. Or so I thought. Mike loves to pull the emergency brake. He just doesn’t always remember to take it out before driving. He laughs when I tell him to try not to break my car.
He’s excited because he cleaned the apartment again.... and used the Swifter. But I still have Man Dust in the bathroom. I have to sneak in there with Fantastic so I don’t hurt his feelings.
A couple of months ago one of my good friend, Jack broke up with his girlfriend and had to move out of her place. He had no place to go and no money since he’s back in school. I invited him to live in my Long Beach apartment. I have another place in the city. It's a small studio but I work there and hate commuting. I figured the Long Beach apartment is empty so it was a perfect solution. Everyone told me I was such a good friend to do this. I shrugged it off. It seemed to be an easy favor. I'm only on the Island on the weekends. Why not, I thought. Now I know what they meant!
It all happened the weekend before Christmas. Jack borrowed my car to get “his stuff”. When he pulled into the garage my eyes bugged out and I shook my head. I thought he was a college kid coming back for the summer. There was not an inch of space to spare. I’m surprised he didn’t get a ticket! So I gave him ½ a closet in the bedroom, a dresser drawer, the front closet and free reign to the storage locker. Then he said there was more. Oh no. We’ll get to that later though.
I normally like to wake up on a Saturday and watch a little HGTV, FoodNetwork and putz around for a bit. I've lived alone for a long time. My roommate days are long gone. I date and have had long term relationships but never lived with a man. Not this Saturday. Oh no, we have to eat. And we have to eat now. So we went up to the diner for breakfast. It was fun. Walked around a bit and went home. But then before you know it he wants to eat again! We just did. I’m done for the day. He is so perplexed. He said, Elaine that was 11:30 this morning. It’s 6:30 now. I caved. We ate again. I couldn't wait to go back to the city Sunday and being by myself again!
Wednesday I went back to Long Island for Christmas. I brought Jack to my folks for Christmas Eve dinner. We are 17 so what’s one more. Christmas Day we were going to be about 30. It’s a fun party day. Couldn’t imagine why he wanted to stay home but he did.
I went back to work Monday and Tuesday and looked forward to another long weekend for New Year’s. Every year at Christmas I make a nice lunch for my girlfriends. This year we were doing it the Wednesday before New Year’s since I had the day off. As it happened Jack called me Tuesday. He was using my car to drive to his brother’s for dinner and offered to buy groceries for my lunch. It was such a thoughtful gesture.
I got home early Wednesday morning. No Jack, no car, no groceries. I was starting to get a cold and was a wee bit cranky. This really didn’t help. It was freezing outside and now I had to walk to the market. Of course, I could have stopped by the market on my way home had I known! I texted Jack asking what was up. He called me and explained that he decided to stop by a friend’s house after leaving his brother and decided to sleep over since they had a few drinks. But now the car wouldn’t start. My car. That always starts. That never breaks.
I’m trying to stay calm. He said it was completely dead. Probably because it was so cold. Jack said he was waiting for AAA. And oh yeah, sorry about no groceries. I was annoyed, congested and not feeling too friendly. I told him he had to stay with his friend the rest of the day. He wasn’t allowed home until 6pm. I wanted the apartment to myself when my friends came over for lunch.
After lunch I cleaned up and collapsed on the couch. I could feel the flu coming on. Jack came home and said AAA came. There was nothing wrong with the car. The car alarm was on. Jack, you know when I gave you the keys to the car and told you that when you press the left side it beeps twice to lock the car, right side beep one to unlock the car. What did you think that was!
Exasperating. I love him but ……
I wonder if that’s why I decided to stay in the city the next weekend.
Two weeks later I’m loving my friend Jack again. He calls and texts every couple of days and checks in. As it happens we decide to meet with a couple of other friends at a favorite Midtown bar Friday night. I’m going to go home to Long Beach and he’s going to stay in the city since he has an early morning appointment there. I asked Jack to drive my car to the train station so that I could drive myself home later that night. I wouldn’t need to take a cab or have to walk. Sounds good, right?
We’re all at the bar having a few drinks and enjoying ourselves when he casually mentions that he forgot to take his gun out of the trunk. WHAT did you say?!! I felt the color drain from my face. I nearly drop my drink and shake my head. Another friend shrugs and told me not to worry. The gun was probably not even loaded. And these guys can’t stop laughing. They can’t understand why I’m upset. The guffawing is really irritating now.
I left a little while later. Just a tad annoyed and really tired. Jack couldn’t remember where he left my car at the train station. Could anything else go wrong! It’s after midnight and he’s on the phone giving me directions on where he thinks he left it. I find it only because it’s the only one in the parking lot. By the way, it’s parked in front of City Hall. The really big building that you can’t miss!
The next day I look in the trunk and the gun is actually a hunting rifle and it’s in a locked case. I’m shaking my head. Why didn’t he just tell me this last night?
Jack is a great guy and doesn’t want me to call the cleaning lady. He prefers to clean himself. Though he tells me he doesn’t like my “cleaning products”. He buys his own. What's not to to like about Fantastic, Windex and Pledge?
I come home the next Friday night and it’s actually clean. Of course, nothing is put back where it’s supposed to. I keep chastising myself that I’m not being nice. I can move it. But now I notice a few things missing. Oh, yeah, sorry Elaine. I broke the glass on the picture frame. And oh yeah, I opened a window and the wind knocked down the small vase. It broke so I threw it away. I’m not feeling nice again.
Then he tells me how easy it was to vacuum the wood floors. I try really really hard to stay calm and explain that that’s why we have Swifter.
And I’m sorry. This is where men and women differ. The bathroom. When you clean the sink you have to remember to clean the chrome drain, too. And what is it about men when they shave, especially if they use an electric razor. Why are there whisker hairs ALL OVER THE BATHROOM? There is Man Dust all over the bathroom!
I’m starting to not like my friend again. I don’t want to hurt his feelings but I can’t live like this. I have to have my cleaning lady. I need a clean bathroom.
I can’t wait to get back to the city!
Today I came home and because it was cold and snowing Jack picked me up from the train station. What a nice roommate. This is really nice. We stopped off at the supermarket. When we got back in the car and start pulling out of the parking spot we’re stuck in the snow. Or so I thought. Mike loves to pull the emergency brake. He just doesn’t always remember to take it out before driving. He laughs when I tell him to try not to break my car.
He’s excited because he cleaned the apartment again.... and used the Swifter. But I still have Man Dust in the bathroom. I have to sneak in there with Fantastic so I don’t hurt his feelings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)